Extravagant Acceptance
Reiki healing & somatic sex coaching
About Me
For decades, I lived in a normalized state of anxiety and dysregulation and anxiety and didn’t know why. I’d spent all of my energy figuring out what made everyone else happy. The first time someone asked me what brought me joy, I broke down in tears. I didn’t know. I thought giving others what they needed and sacrificing what I wanted was thoughtful and kind.
That was how a wife and mother was supposed to be.
It wasn’t until I started working with pleasure mentor Isabella Frappier, who helped me reconnect with my body, that my nervous system started to relax.
Somatic Sex Coaching FAQ
Why Somatic Sex Coaching?
Most of us have been socially conditioned to prioritize others' needs over our own. We believe if we take responsibility for the health and daily lives of everyone we’re in a relationship with, a life of pleasure, connection and ease is just around the corner.
But we never seem to arrive.
This scarcity undercurrent causes our nervous system dis-ease. Out of survival, we normalize feeling restless, achy, depressed, anxious, burned out and alone.
The relationships we pour into don’t go anywhere.
We create vision boards with the career, experiences and goals we want, but don’t know how to give ourselves permission to invest in them.
And sex? Forget about it. It takes too much energy.
A good vibrator and ten minutes alone is good enough. What does that even have to do with the big picture anyway?
How you present yourself and at what capacity you’re willing to be seen and heard and received is directly reflective of how willing you are to be seen and heard and received by yourself, and if you can increase the capacity for receiving yourself, it will be reflected in the extent of your reach to the world around you. This happens through the mind-body integration.
This happens through connecting to your body and knowing what brings you pleasure. Pleasure is an amazingly effective way to highten our body’s awareness. And it’s fun!
What is Somatic Sex Coaching?
The word “somatic” comes from the Greek word “soma” meaning “the body”.
Embedded within our bodies are uniquely-coded tools for healing, learning and transformation.
If we explore our body’s sensual edges with curiosity, we enter into a joy-filled life, form deep connections with ourselves and others and expand into the mystery and extravagance of who we truly are. Working with me will feel like home. Through our talk-based sessions, I’ll create a safe, supportive and personalized coaching experience. You’ll learn to tune into your body’s erotic wisdom, sensual energy and pleasure so you can:
- Extravagantly accept your fullest self
- Create safety within your body
- Form deeply intimate relationships with yourself and others
- Connect with your deepest desires & take action
- Set and love your boundaries
- Communicate what you want and need with your partner(s)
- Experience emotional release through the heart and soul of your vulva
- Free yourself from shame and explore the mystery of your erotic nature
- Get out of your head and enjoy the juicy sex you’ve always dreamed of
- Discern which people, resources and choices will best support your growth
- Live a joy-filled life!
What is a Somatic Sex Coaching Session Like?
Come to the session just as you are. We will check in, explore what’s important for the day, set an intention and take it from there.
We’ll talk and breathe.
I’ll guide you through a grounding activity.
We may move or stretch.
In our hands-free coaching calls, I’ll help you witness your learning edge, access your body’s uniquely coded tools to replace old habits with and create a practice to take clear and concise action so you can level up your game.
There could be laughter, tears, snot, farts and/or burps. Our bodies express themselves in a lot of ways.
I hold reverence for it all without judgment.
Speaking of judgment, our nervous system sometimes uses criticism to keep us from changing. It could even try to keep you from showing up for your session. A suggested response is to speak to it—out loud or to yourself—as if it were an old friend. For example, “Thank you, nervous system! I know you want to keep me safe. You can come to my session with me.” It doesn’t need to make you change plans. It’s my job to foster this experience for you, so all that you really need to do is show up. That’s the only thing to achieve and doing so is making such a badass, leadership move for yourself.
Services Offered
In Person Reiki
Limited Availability
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing by balancing the natural flow of our life energy It’s a very simple yet powerful technique.
Please Email admin@extravagantacceptance.com to request an In Person Session
I’ll officially be certified in December 2024.
In the meantime, I need volunteers to practice coaching with.
If you get a 404 message when booking, please use a browser OTHER THAN Google.
Reiki FAQ
What is Reiki?
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It works to balance the natural flow of “Ki”, our life energy, or “Chi” in Chinese.
The technique I’ll use is administered without touching the body. It’s a very simple yet powerful technique.
What is Reiki Session Like?
Come to the session just as you are. After we check in, you’ll lie comfortably on a massage table, or if we meet virtually, you’ll lie somewhere comfortable in your home where I can see you on camera. You’ll rest and breathe. I’ll move my hands above your body, shifting the energy. You may or may not feel anything. The Reiki is still at work.
There could be laughter, tears, snot, farts and/or burps. Our bodies express themselves in a lot of ways, and I hold reverence for it all without judgment.
Speaking of judgment, our nervous system sometimes uses criticism to keep us from changing. It could even try to keep you from showing up for your session. A suggested response is to speak to it—out loud or to yourself—as if it were an old friend. For example, “Thank you, nervous system! I know you want to keep me safe. You can come to my session with me.” It doesn’t need to make you change plans. It’s my job to foster this experience for you, so all that you really need to do is show up. That’s the only thing to achieve and doing so is making such a badass, leadership move for yourself.
About Me
For decades, I lived in a normalized state of anxiety and dysregulation and didn’t know why. I’d spent all of my energy figuring out what made everyone else happy.
The first time someone asked me what brought me joy, I broke down in tears.
I didn’t know. I thought giving others what they needed and sacrificing what I wanted was thoughtful and kind. That was how a wife and mother was supposed to be.
I was masking all of my fears with the image of a woman who had it all figured out. I lived in a beautiful home with two kids, two dogs and a husband that coached little league. While working as an advocate for women who’d experienced sexual trauma, I began to realize how my own sexual traumas were affecting my mental health and self-image.
I would freeze up during sex. I didn’t touch myself out of shame. I constantly felt dissociated and incapable of intimacy.
I sought out a trauma-informed therapist and was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression and ADHD. I finally knew what to call my state-of-being, and I thought that meant I could start fixing myself and my relationship with my husband. We started couples and sex therapy. I took courses in trauma-informed care, polyvagal theory and mindfulness. I changed my diet, committed to exercising regularly, studied self-defense and the red flags of perpetrators. Yet, I still felt like a foreigner in my body.
It wasn’t until I started working with pleasure mentor Isabella Frappier, who helped me reconnect with my body, that my nervous system started to relax. Honestly? I was terrified to work with her.
The cultural and religious shame I’d experienced convinced me that learning about sensuality was weird, dangerous and could lead to exploitation of women.
Through grounding exercises, creating a safe container, journaling, sensual movement and exploring the direct line between my vulva and emotions, I began to feel at home in my body and curious about my own desires, what gave me pleasure and how to engage with my energy that was erotic, sensual and loving.
I didn’t just experience joy, I learned to embody it.
The lotus flower is a symbol of rising from a dark place into beauty and being reborn. Every new self-discovery I experienced was a petal taking its divine shape.
Scarcity began to subside, and I knew I could trust myself completely to care for all of my needs.
I’ve been able to forgive the unforgivable.
I practice being in the present moment, embodied and extravagantly accepting all that I am. All through sensual practices.
My body is regulated. I’m experiencing safety, calm, presence and joy!
I’ve found my own voice and don’t live in a state of people pleasing.
Getting into my body hasn’t solved all my problems, but it has awaken my inner pleasure compass.
By tuning in to what feels good, I’ve been able to discern which people, resources and choices will best support my authentic growth. Pleasure and joy guide me to living every day in the exquisite state of extravagantly accepting my fullest self.
Training
Somatic Sex Coaching Certificate December 2024
Institute of Somatic Sexology
Reiki Level I & II
Twin Cities Reiki Master
Intro to Embodied Counseling Certificate
Institute of Somatic Sexology
Tantra & Spirituality of Sex
International School of Temple Arts
200 hour yoga certification
Vida Asana
Sexual Assault Advocacy Training
360 Communities
Over 100 hours trauma informed education
For more information or to ask Kjersti a question, email
admin@extravagantacceptance.com